Thursday, February 5, 2009

It's just so...

I woke up in the middle of the night last night. That, in and of itself, isn't anything unusual. I normally wake up at least once a night. Sometimes it's cuz Brit Boy comes to bed after I have fallen asleep. Sometimes the fluids I drink before going to bed result in my body waking me up so that I can relieve myself. Sometimes, and this has been happening with some regularity lately, I'm in the middle of a disturbing, vivid dream, and I wake up with a start.

Last night, however, I was awakened due to the second situation. Sometime around 3am, my body decided that it was time to get up and "use the facilities." There was one little... well not so little... problem. I was experiencing a nocturnal erection. A rather severe nocturnal erection. Urination was, well, challenging to say the least.

So, there I was, stumbling toward the bathroom, still rather groggy from having just woken up, trying to figure out how I was going to quickly relieve myself, return to bed, and get back to sleep.

I start thinking about car repairs. Tree-trimming. Longitudinal studies of student's performance on standardized tests in public schools. Nope. Nothing happening. Or, more accurately, a lot of the same thing was happening.

A few minutes go by, and the blood in my body started to move away from where it had been residing. Finally I was in the... um, position... to be able to experience relief. Once I have that all taken care of, I shuffled, as quickly as possible, back to bed. I curl up with my pillows (one of which is called Brit Boy 2 for when he's away) and hope for sleep.

Nope. I've been awake to long, and my attempts to think on things other than the situation in which I found myself had brought my mind fully online.

Damn it!

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