Weight

Me: Ugh. I'm getting fat!
Sincerity: Oh, please.
Me: I have!! I've gained like 7 lbs!!!!
Sincerity: That's, what... about a three percent gain? That's nothing!
Me: But it's all in one place...
Sincerity: ...um... yeah, I was gonna mention the cankles...
Me: I so hate you right now!

It's so... SHINY!!

I'm not sure, but I think it's been since elementary school since I've seen a display like this. It was pretty common back in those days seeing as it was a new activity for little boys. They weren't quite sure how it all worked. How to stand. What to hold on to.

But for a man easily in his 50s? He should know by then.

I was leaving the locker room after spinning class tonight, and there he was. Early 50s. Grey... I mean Silver hair. Workout shorts AND jockstrap around his knees. Hands on his hips. Pissing in the urinal. Big, flabby ass hanging out for all the world to see.

Really?!? Around your knees?

Big. Gaping. Hole.

I could never be in the medical profession. Nevermind all the biology courses and pharmocology courses. Nevermind all the years spent in school combined with even more years training in hospitals and clinics. I just can't handle wounds and blood.

I had minor surgery yesterday. No big deal, just the removal of a cyst. But this now means that I have another hole in my body, albeit temporarily. And I have to change the dressing. And put ointment on the wound. And... deal with... um... all the stuff that goes with having a gaping hole in your body.

I had such a hard time cleaning the wound this morning. Where's my nurse? When do I get my sponge bath?

Hallelujah!!

Praise be to the gods! Sing honors to Shiva! Give atonements to His Holiness the Pope (I just want his shoes)!!

Last night, was glorious. The satisfaction. The overwhelming joyousness. The excitement with which I can shout from the rooftops!!

I slept until 8:15am this morning. ...and I was able to stay up till almost 11:30pm. On a Saturday night, I know. I'm such a rebel. Such a wild, party-going carouser. Really, I need to be stopped before I hurt myself and others.

Sleep... I want sleep!!

Jet lag has never really affected me that much. Normally when I return from abroad, it only takes me a day or so to get back to a normal sleeping schedule. Not so much this time.

So far this week, since my return, I've arisen at 4am, 5:40am, 6am, and today - 6:30am. Slowly getting better, but due to my early rising, it's been so challenging to stay up late. And by late I mean past 9pm. The past two nights I've fallen asleep on the couch while trying to stay up to a decent hour.

I'm hoping tonight will allow me to get back to a more normal sleep schedule. I'm heading out with Kelicious and Aussie Boy to celebrate my birthday, since I was on the other side of the world when it came around.

Oh yeah, don't think y'all are getting away without wishing me a happy birthday and showering me with gifts and affections. My Week of Celebrations is still forthcoming.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

It's 10am in Tokyo, Japan. I'm about half-way through my 38 hour return journey. Yes, the journey over to Thailand to meet up with Brit Boy only took about 30 hours all told, but the return journey has been a bit more... um... complicated.

It started around 10am, Sunday, May 4, on the tiny island of Koh Tao, Thailand. South in the Gulf of Thailand. See, it was supposed to be relatively simple, albeit a bit tight on the timing.

10am boat from Koh Tao to the city of Chumphon, where we were to catch the train to Bangkok for me to catch my outgoing flight.

Easy, right? Hrmph!!!

Oh, did I mention that this was Labor Day Weekend in Thailand? Where loads of people, much like in the US, go off traveling for a long weekend? Yeah... that muddied things up a bit.

Well, that and the fact that there are a number of travel-related monopolies that stymy your attempts to get anywhere.

You want boat to mainland? Ok. You're catching the train to Bangkok? Yes, we will provide free transport from the pier to the station. You want to get there on time to catch your train? No, that won't happen. But we'll tell you that it will. So now that you've missed your train, and there's no transport from here to anywhere but the island you came from, you can take our bus to Bangkok. Yes, we can sell you the ticket now that you've missed your train. Oh, and it'll cost more now cuz you thought you could get away with trying to use someone else's services.

In reality, the extra cost equated to about $3.20 US. No big deal. However, in a country where $3.20 US can get you a massage (with happy ending), a pack of smokes for after, and a stiff drink for when you realize you've had sex with a 13 year-old (purely conjecture here, folks...), it's a lot of money.

That and the Thai have this remarkable ability to comlpetely ignore the fact that you exist when you raise a point of contention. Or at least that's been my experience. "You have a problem with something? Ok. Now let me ignore you as a human being while I reach through you to continue servicing the people that have no problems whatsoever so I can simply say "thank you" and begone with them."

In reality, I had a great time in Thailand. Please don't let this little post let you think otherwise. It's just that while I'm sitting in Tokyo's Admirals Lounge drinking my fourth mimosa (hey... it's 8pm back in Texas), I'm letting it out. Mainly so I won't take it out on some pore unsuspecting gate agent.

More details of the trip to follow.