Brit Boy is coming to Texas. The exact dates of the trip are still to be determined, as he has a number of events to schedule around, and he's having to make some decisions about which ones to bypass. Yes, he's doing a bit of arranging for this visit.
To say I'm excited is an understatement. To say I'm scared is an oversimplification. There are a number of thoughts and emotions running through my mind, not the least of which is a slightly bewildered anticipation.
As I've previously stated, I understand the parameters within which we're working. This is an affair. One which may not work. A short time ago I asked a very good friend how to determine what limit I should put on my actions in maintaining a connection. How do I know when these attempts become damaging to me? At what point am I forsaking something more attainable, something more present? How do I know when I need to just accept things as they were and cherish that? She smiled as she touched my arm, her eyes sparkling as she saw the tears threatening to spill forth from mine. She stated that there is no answer to that question. Perhaps I can have a little affair, perhaps such things do not work. But I must move forward, being true to my heart.
And so, I'm moving forward as I always do. Opening myself up to the possibility of something spectacular, albeit with limitations. Or something devastating. The challenge is that one never knows how things will turn out.
Therein lies the adventure. Therein lies the hope.
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