"The quality of everything we do: our
physical actions, our verbal actions, and even our mental actions,
depends on our motivation." - His Holiness the Dalai Lama XIV
The actions we take when we interact with others... The things we say to one another, both verbal and non-verbal... And yes, even the mental thoughts we have but don't say or act upon when dealing with others... It all depends on our point of view, the orientation we choose when we look at this thing called life, and how we are motivated to implement that point of view and orientation. We can choose the positive, compassionate, and loving path - what some might call the implementation of good karma - or we can find ourselves on a negative, perhaps self-destructive and hopeless path - what is often referred to as bad karma. It is all about the choices we make in those all-important moments of truth. Do we hide away and introduce lies and deceit into the world, into our relationships, and into our lives? Or do we make the tough decisions and dig deep into ourselves to be honest, forthcoming, and respectful to the universe, to those around us, and to ourselves?
Karma is simply defined in the Yoga Sutras as action. It states that these actions can be good or bad, based on what some might call universal morality. And it is these actions, when repeated over and over again, that define the path upon which we find ourselves. The challenge is that the mind is easily fooled into thinking we are on a particular path when in reality we are not. For often we don't want to admit, even to ourselves, even in our most honest moments of introspection, that our actions... our thoughts... our motivation are less than moral. Are less than ethical. Are less than honest and truthful.
But sometimes, be it by the actions of another that can jolt your world view of the honesty and trustworthiness of others, or the simple statements of a good friend that recognizes the hurt residing within you, you can recognize that the path you thought you were traveling, be it by yourself or with your beloved, was nothing more than a fantasy. And you realize the discordance of your own honest and respectful actions with the negative and dishonest actions of your traveling companion and this makes you recognize that you can only find the answers... the truth... the love... within yourself. For at the end of the day, we are all alone on a planet of billions.
3 comments:
When you are trying to walk with good intentions, when you are consciously worrying about the effects of your actions on others, you *will* be repeatedly disappointed by other people. Because most people are *not* worrying about these things; they're knocking around their lives like pinballs in a machine, with no sense of responsibility for their actions or awareness of the connection between their selfishness and their perception of how others treat them.
HOWEVER, I do not believe that this means that intimacy is a farce; I don't believe that this means that one has to delude oneself in order to trust and to believe that we're in sync with someone else. Every time you do it it's a gamble. And every time you do it is an opportunity to learn things about yourself and about the human condition. Every interaction, especially emotionally intense ones, offer opportunities to better understand the human experience, to better understand the energies that draw people together.
And in many ways, it's those who walk with stronger conviction who are better able to weather the pain and anguish of having their trust violated by those who are weaker or more careless.
While I do, in the depth of my heart, believe and agree with everything you say, the question that always come to the forefront of my mind is, "How many times until I just give up? How many hurts until I can no longer heal?" For everyone's strength has a breaking point. Everyone's conviction has its limits. At what point does one just throw in the towel and just let it all go?
Not that I'm an expert (!) but I say that's part of being patient with ourselves.
As my yoga teachers might say - acknowledge that you're experiencing pain. If you've really reached your limit for right now, back off - go into your metaphorical child's pose. Rest. Restore yourself.
But also realize that where your limit is today might not be where your limit is tomorrow.
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