It wasn't my fault!

This morning... I spit on a woman. Well, almost.

I was on my way into the office after a trip to the dentist. I was sitting at a stop light, on my bike, just kinda looking around, poking at my novacaine-numb lip with my tongue. (Hey, y'all know you all do that!!) A woman entered the crosswalk in front of me. I grabbed my water bottle, took a big swig, and attempted to swallow.

Now, it didn't occur to me that I didn't really have full control of my lips as I attempted this tricky maneuver. As a result, I nice fountain of water spewed from my lips, arcing beautifully roughly two feet in front of the woman crossing the street.

She stopped dead in her tracks, whipped her head around to look at me with the nastiest look on her face. I thought she was gonna come over and whoop my ass.

"I dust hab denbil werk," I mutter roughly as I tried to express utmost shock and horror with my eyes and body language. She continued to look at me as if she was gonna pummel me into the ground. Then she just busted up laughing, started shaking her head, and walked on.