The Kiss

It was a simple action.  A series of movements that brought him closer to me.  His body was soon pressing against mine as he leaned in and kissed me.  I had to admit that I was a little surprised as he had previously stated his inability to pursue something.  "It'd be like bringing an 800lb gorilla onto a sinking raft.  My life is just not all that stable right now," he tearfully said one night.

I understood.  In fact I wasn't all that sure I was in a place to pursue anything either.  I had already almost called him Latex on more than one occasion (thankfully, not in *that* situation).

But as long as I was having fun, I was fine with things as they were.  There was no need to define or label what we were doing.  We were hanging out, having a few drinks, having a good time just being with one another.  Did I say a few drinks?  Maybe more than that...  cuz this is Bartender Boy.  Yes, he's a bartender.

After the kiss I looked at him rather quizically.  I looked into his eyes and saw sincerity.  "Damn," I said to myself.  "Why does he have to be so cute."

And that's how I was drawn in.  Cute, baby-doe eyes.  I'm a sucker... no, I'm a gonner... for cute, baby-doe eyes. 

But as quickly as it began, it ended.  He was acting strange when I picked him up for dinner.  He held my hand for a moment and looked down.

"You can't do this, can you?"  I asked.  "Not even as casual as we are..."

"It's not that I don't want to..." he started, but I stopped him.  "I know," I said.  "I can see the attraction in your eyes.  But you're troubled.  You're not in a space to give freely of yourself, and I understand."

He laughed.  "Why can't you be a jerk about this?  It'd make it so much easier for me."

And then it was my turn to take that simple action.  To make that series of movements that brought my body closer to his.  I held him close and kissed him gently.