An Introduction

This is Carebear. Well, technically, this as a Carebear. But more importantly, this is my Carebear. For whatever reason, I have grown very attached to this little stuffed animal over the past couple of months. We go to a lot of events together. We sleep together. We've gone running together.

Some people think it's getting a little out of control.

A couple of months ago I was at a house party. At some point in the evening, the host brought out a ton of stuffed animals and kinda threw them around the living room. He handed Carebear to me. See, the one nickname that has truly stuck with me over the years is Carebear. My P.E. teacher in 3rd Grade, Miss McFall (a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader) started calling me Carebear. It just kinda stuck.

Anyway, at the end of the party I informed our host that I was taking Carebear with me. We belonged together, I said. He didn't argue.

We've been practically attached at the hip ever since. He goes out to the bars with me, has gone to yoga on numerous occasions (he's not so great at the balancing poses yet), we ran the Capital 10K last weekend together, and I think he might be joining me on the Hill Country Ride for AIDS this upcoming weekend. Just have to figure out how to affix a seat for him on the bike.

A lot of people look at me oddly as I carry Carebear with me to different events. Some people understand that absurdity and hilarity of what I'm doing. Really, I'm just doing my part to ensure no one takes things too seriously.

I was not expecting this

This is what I ran into the other day while cycling around South Austin. In the front yard? Hrmmmm, I woulda thought that a goat belonged in the back yard.

I had half a Tic-tac three days ago

Cleanse [klenz] verb, cleansed, cleansing.

Verb (used with object)

1. to make clean.

2. to remove by or as if by cleaning.

Verb (used without object)

3. to become clean.

I started a 9-day cleanse this week. First two days were nothing but this magical elixir four times a day and lots and lots of water. No food, no drinking. All total, I consumed less than 400 calories for these two days while still maintaining normal physical fitness regimen. By the end of the second day I was about to gnaw off my left arm I was so hungry, but I made it through.

Starting on the third day, I switched to a magical shake several times a day which has increased my caloric intake to just under 900 calories. Has this impacted my physical activity? Not one bit. I'm still cycling everywhere, hitting the gym, running several times a week, and getting in as much yoga as I can. The result? Well, I am starting my fourth day of the cleanse now and I have already lost 7 lbs. From the right places? Perhaps. The abs seem to be starting their spring rise to the surface. I'm not sure, however, if this whole thing is having much impact on the extra bits on the side.

But maybe it is. Today is the beginning of Day 4, and I have several events, fundraisers, and parties this weekend that might make it challenging to stay the course. Yet with such good results within such a short time, I'm gonna try my best. And, watching drunk people while sober can be a fun spectator event.

Vanity, Cary. Cary, Vanity. Oh, you've already met!

Lake Season is fast approaching here in Central Texas. The weather is getting warmer, the Bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrush are starting to sprout, and the boys are starting to run around town shirtless. What does all this mean? Well, it means that Cary is busy getting his body ready for Lake Season. Not only am I running in the Capitol 10K and riding in the Hill Country Ride for AIDS, which are requiring a bit of training in and of themselves, I'm increasing my gym time, decreasing my eating, increasing my yoga, and decreasing my drinking. Sorry to make your head spin with all those ups and downs... and up and down... and spinning around... Oooooh, that makes me think about...

nevermind...

Since this is likely to be my last Summer in Austin for some time I figured it best to ensure that I am looking as good as possible for all the limited-clothing hot weather that Austin serves up so well. "How's it going?" you ask. Well, not all that well. I mean, the shoulders are definitely responding to the routines. As are my arms, my legs, my chest, and my butt (which I think *was* starting to get a little smaller, much to my dismay). But... my mid-section is standing there, arms crossed, sticking its tongue out at me, essentially going, "pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbtttt!!!!"

I am not a happy camper. Now, the cum-gutters are developing nicely, but the rest is just so... BLARGH!!!! I'm not sure what else to do. Here's my basic weekly routine:

Cycling to work (15 mile RT): 5x/wk

Running (4+ miles): 3x/wk

Weight training: 2x/wk

Teaching yoga classes: 5x/wk

Taking yoga classes: 3x/wk

Training rides (40+ miles): 1x/wk

Since my weight is staying pretty steady and I can tell my muscle mass is increasing, it follows that my amount of body fat is decreasing, but just not from where I want it to decrease. People in the running group with which I've been running lately have been cajoling me to run with my shirt off, and I keep brushing them aside, insisting that my body is not ready for that just yet. However, if I can't get my body to a point where I feel comfortable doing that with all the work I've been doing lately, I'm just gonna go the other direction and start downing Bon-Bons, pizza, Tex-Mex, and bags and bags of boxed wine. Yeah, you heard me. Boxed wine!!!

Let's Talk About Sex

My entries as of late have been far too focused on exercise with little to no mention of... Sex!! Well, there's one minor problem with me talking about sex right now. I'm not having any.

I know!! I know exactly what you're thinking. "How could this be?" And to be honest, I'm not exactly sure myself. I mean, I think about sex. There are numerous boys around town that I have found rather attractive and which induce tightness in the Levi's, but in the end, I'm kinda, "Meh... why bother?"

I think I may need to see a doctor about this soon.

I was out to dinner recently with Kelicious and some friends for his birthday when one friend asked me who I was dating. "No one," I replied. "Oh, you're dating everyone?" my friend then asked, with a wink. I paused for a moment, thought about his question, and said, "Oh hell no. I don't have time to think about anyone else's feelings these days."

Now, this might seem a bit crass and uncaring, but I've just got so many moving parts in my life as I prepare for the next step. Getting laid takes a bit of effort (admittedly not too much for me, really...) and I just don't have the energy for that. However, I'm not really missing sex that much right now. Yet, in the words of my good friend Great Abs Guy, I do miss missing sex.

I like to Hash!

This past weekend I was introduced to an event that I am amazed I was unaware of for such a long time. Apparently, this event has been occurring in Austin for 25 years without my knowledge. For this, I am so embarrassed, disappointed, and excited.

Hashing. For those that are unaware, it's drinking and running. Seriously.

Hash House Harriers are known as a drinking group with a running problem. And it gets so much better.

In Austin, every Sunday, rain or shine, the group meets in a different place to drink and run. Volunteers set up the trail, which is different every week. A few beers are enjoyed, and then the running begins. The trail is marked with specific marks, known as hashes, to tell you which way to go. However, there are many opportunities to go in one of many directions. It is in these instances when those that set the trail can mess with the runners and set up many false trails, increasing the overall length of the run for those poor souls that run off in the wrong direction.

At some mid-point in the run, a beer stop is scheduled where more beer is consumed. Then more running, until you reach the end, where more beer is consumed.

The trail this past weekend wound through a greenbelt in West Austin with lots of vines, thorns, steep slopes, and creeks. I may be a bit scratched up and bruised, but I gotta tell ya. It was the most fun I've had exercising in a very long time.

And yes, I've already checked. London as several Hash clubs, with runs occurring almost every day of the week. Looks like I know what I'll be doing in my free time during grad school.

Hill Country Ride for AIDS

It's been a few years since I started riding my bike as my main mode of transportation around town. Since making this switch, there has been an event in which I've long wanted to participate. The Hill Country Ride for AIDS. It is an annual cycling event that rolls through the beautiful central Texas Hill Country where riders and volunteers raise money for life saving support for thousands of Central Texans living with HIV/AIDS. However, since I work for the legislature, during years of the legislative session, I have always been precluded from riding. Yet, with this being my last year in Austin, for the foreseeable future, I figured I need to get with it and finally ride.

So, I'm all registered. I'm riding with a team of fun guys and have my personal fundraising goal. Now I just need to kick my training into gear. After talking with my riding partner, I'm sure I could do the 65 mile course I've chosen tomorrow with no problem. Now, I might not be all that comfortable or be able to walk the next day, but I could do it. So, in order to keep my social agenda in order in the days following the ride, I guess I should train and get my body in order.

If any of y'all can make a donation, I'd greatly appreciate it. My personal fundraising page can be found here.

Austin, te amo.

Austin, Texas. I have now lived here for over 10 years. This is the longest I've lived in any one place outside of growing up. At times I feel so completely comfortable here that I can't imagine myself leaving. At many others, however, I find myself bored with what the city has to offer and I desire the many wonders the rest of the world holds.

When Brit Boy and I separated last year, I thought my plans to head across the ocean for grad school were in serious jeopardy. I wasn't sure if I could just pick up and head over to the U.K. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it happen financially. I wasn't sure if I would make the friends I felt I needed to feel comfortable in London.

Well, fuck those thoughts. I'm heading over. I requested deferred admissions to grad school and they said, "You know, we really like you. Yeah, we can wait a year for you to join us." So, this Fall I'm heading to London to start a new chapter in my life.

Excited? You better believe it. Scared? You better fucking believe it. Petrified that I'll fall flat on my face and wind up living in a van, down by the river?!?! Well, maybe not that scared, but there is a bit of that in there. But in the end, I'm ready for something else. I have loved Austin for the past decade, but there are so many other things out there to experience.

"But, doesn't Brit Boy live in London?" you ask. Well, as far as I know, he lives in Brighton now. And while that's not too far from London, there are several million people in the London area. Depending on whether you are talking about greater London, the Greater London Urban Area, or the metropolitan London area, London has between 8 million and 15 million people living there (these estimates are a few years old, though). The likelihood that I'll run into him is pretty slim. And even if I do, I can always turn around and walk away.

But please. I don't wanna focus on that. I wanna focus on all the wonderful, adorable, cute, sexy, studly international boys that live in London that will just absolutely LOVE the fact that I'm a Texan. I mean, the last time I was there as a single man, it felt like I was beating them off (hey now!!!) with a stick. I may not have a Texas accent, nor can I fake one very well, but they don't know the difference. And what is it they say? Fake it till you make it (with a cute boy).

And... I'm back

Oh hi!! It sure has been a while. There are tons of excuses I could make, but in the end, I just didn't feel like writing for a while. Finding my reset button after the whole Brit Boy situation. Dealing with talking to Kevin for the first time in 4+ years. Getting things all settled for the next big step in my life. It all took a bit of energy.

As you might be able to tell, there are lots of things going on and lots of activities for me to recount. I just hope my writing is is still up to par with what y'all expect from me.

I've also moved the blog from Livejournal to Blogspot. While I've been able to move most of the posts, I kinda fucked it up on transferring the comments. Oh well... I never said I was any good at any of this.

Were you surprised? I was surprised. Really, really surprised.

Well, this is something I never really expected to happen. And I have to say I'm a little... anxious?

I'm meeting Kevin tonight for drinks. Yup, you read that right. Kevin. The Ex. The one I've barely had any contact with for the past 4+ years.

Well, there's some family stuff to be dealt with so he's in town from the East Coast for a bit. I had heard about this and thought it'd be nice to send him a short "I'm thinking of you" email. At the end of which I said, "I'm sure you have lots of loving people around you at this time, but if you need a moment away from that, let me know." Totally not expecting him to accept. Not sure why I put it in there, but I did.

He accepted.

I mean, I'm fine with it. I think. I did offer, right? But I totally didn't expect him to accept. So tonight, we're meeting for a drink and some nibbly bits at an "out-of-the-way" place.

Nervous? Not exactly. Anxious? Maybe a little. I'm just... I dunno. It's been 4+ years and the only time I've spoken to him was one random night when I had been drinking for about eight hours beforehand. And I don't really remember much from it. Perhaps I should do that again. Which means I should start drinking.... now.

Alright, I'm out. Wish me luck!!