On Sígur Rós

To say they were amazing in concert is an understatement.  So breathtakingly spectacular!!!

I smiled.  I cried.  I laughed and cried at the same time.  Oh the beauty of it all...

On Laughter

"I remember being so glad to be with a fellow yogi who wasn't afraid to laugh at the precariousness of being a yoga teacher and a human being.  We sat in the grass and we laughed."

-someone smarter than me

On Being Built By the Gods

Me: (working with a client, explaining the next exercise).
Him: Do you see that girl?
Me: What girl?
Him: The blonde.  She's checking you out, hardcore!  Looking you up and down.
Me: Okay... Do your set.

[After the set]

Him: Seriously, you're lucky to have girls checking you out like that.
Me: (in my head) Seriously?!?!

Next client, having overheard the conversation: Does he not know?
Me: I guess not.  Oh well.
Her: Well, your legs have been chiselled by the Gods! Of course she was checking you out.
Me: I can't help that I'm just drawn this way.

On Being Lost

There are times when I feel like all is lost.  There are times when I feel like nothing is worth it.  There comes a time when I feel lonely, even in the midst of people.

Right now is not one of those times.

The whirlwind of change that is rushing through my life is exhilarating.  It is invigorating.  It is inspiring.  It is overwhelming.

But that is what change is all about.  How the dust is going to settle I don't know.  How the whole picture will look after the pieces come together I don't know.  How I'll handle the blinding yet energizing sunshine now that my blindfold has been lifted I'm not sure.

But finding out is what makes it all so exciting.

On Being Never Not Broken

Akhilandeshvari: Goddess of Never Not Broken, or The Always Broken Goddess

The brokenness of Akhilanda isn't a brokenness of weakness, fear, or terror.  It is the brokenness that tears us apart, disrupting the ruts, routines, and rituals of our everyday life.  Those things that so often stunt our personal growth and can prove to be toxic to the development and pursuit of personal goals and achievements.  Repeating the same relationships (friendly or intimate) over and over; maintaining the same habits for years upon years; not performing some sort of introspection on a regular and routine basis to identify whether we are on the right path for our lives to achieve those goals and become the best people we can become.

The story of Akhilanda is that when we experience a devastating loss, are torn apart by some experience in our life, or we witness our envisioned future dissolve before our very eyes, we have the opportunity to choose the manner in which we will put ourselves together.  We can learn from our past that has brought us to this heaped up pile of broken pieces.  We can look forward to what had been our visions of the future.  But really, we are in a state of flux.  We are changing.  We are learning to flow through life like a river runs its course, over and around the obstacles of life; learning from the confusion of life.  For how can we ever learn and grow if we already have everything figured out.

But it is also important to recognize that this newly pieced together person is only an illusion.  This new being we create for ourselves is only temporary.  For we will break again.  We will fall apart.  We will in some way see our future dissolve and develop a new one in its wake.  For we are never not broken.  And that is the beauty and the power of Akhilanda.  We have the strength and the power to reinvent ourselves as often as we need to in order to make the course corrections in life to find the path that is right for us.

On Love

"Those that go searching for love only make manifest their own lovelessness, and the loveless never find love, only the loving find love, and they never have to see for it."

-D.H. Lawrence

On Dostoyevsky

“Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” 

-Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

On Peace of Mind

Fear and distrust arise due to a selfish attitude and other negative mental states. A selfish attitude creates fear and insecurity, which in turn creates distrust. However, an altruistic attitude brings a great sense of happiness and peace of mind. The greater our peace of mind, the more peaceful and stable the atmosphere around us. These are the qualities of the Buddha, and through the awakening mind, compassion is foremost in the actions we can take to aleve the suffering of others and in so doing, ourselves. - His Holiness the Dalai Lama the XIV

On Closing Your Eyes

"You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you don't want to feel." -unknown

Are We All Just Fooling Ourselves?

 

"The quality of everything we do: our physical actions, our verbal actions, and even our mental actions, depends on our motivation." - His Holiness the Dalai Lama XIV

The actions we take when we interact with others... The things we say to one another, both verbal and non-verbal... And yes, even the mental thoughts we have but don't say or act upon when dealing with others...  It all depends on our point of view, the orientation we choose when we look at this thing called life, and how we are motivated to implement that point of view and orientation.  We can choose the positive, compassionate, and loving path - what some might call the implementation of good karma - or we can find ourselves on a negative, perhaps self-destructive and hopeless path - what is often referred to as bad karma.  It is all about the choices we make in those all-important moments of truth.  Do we hide away and introduce lies and deceit into the world, into our relationships, and into our lives?  Or do we make the tough decisions and dig deep into ourselves to be honest, forthcoming, and respectful to the universe, to those around us, and to ourselves?

Karma is simply defined in the Yoga Sutras as action.  It states that these actions can be good or bad, based on what some might call universal morality.  And it is these actions, when repeated over and over again, that define the path upon which we find ourselves.  The challenge is that the mind is easily fooled into thinking we are on a particular path when in reality we are not.  For often we don't want to admit, even to ourselves, even in our most honest moments of introspection, that our actions... our thoughts... our motivation are less than moral.  Are less than ethical.  Are less than honest and truthful.

But sometimes, be it by the actions of another that can jolt your world view of the honesty and trustworthiness of others, or the simple statements of a good friend that recognizes the hurt residing within you, you can recognize that the path you thought you were traveling, be it by yourself or with your beloved, was nothing more than a fantasy.  And you realize the discordance of your own honest and respectful actions with the negative and dishonest actions of your traveling companion and this makes you recognize that you can only find the answers... the truth... the love... within yourself.  For at the end of the day, we are all alone on a planet of billions.

Letting Go

Nobody likes letting go.  From our earliest moments, our instinct is to grab, grip, cling, or hold on to anything we can.  To a finger.  To a blanket.  To a toy.  To a best friend.  To a love that has obviously already let you go by their actions.  Or their inactions.  Sometimes we hold on for dear life to the very things that inhibit us from actually living life.

But there is an upside.  The feeling we get when we do finally let go.  The trick is not to find a way around the obstacles and challenges thrown at us by life, but to live with them.  Live through them.  Learn from them.  In a halfway happy, uneasy alliance until the universe throws something new our way.  And around and around we go until the time comes finally to say goodbye.  And like it or not, ready or not, we all have to accept one universal truth - life is messy. M Always and for all of us.

But... maybe messy is what one needs.

Fairy Tales

Sometimes in a thousand tiny surrenders, or in one giant fell swoop, what you'd seen as truly mythical... you learn is truly just myth.

Ever After

"Happily Ever After" is a crock.  It's a sham.  It's a shell game on the street for every passing sucker that walks past.  They're just words.  Pretty words, but words just the same.

Our lives are determined by dumb luck, the actions we take, and the courage we summon during those all-important moments of truth.  Real life doesn't come with "The End."  Our stories never end as "Happily Ever After," is really only the beginning.  There are a million ever afters in everyone's lives.  For just when you think you've reached the finish line and found a nice little place to call home and someone with whom to curl up, the gun goes off again.

And the race begins anew.

So True

From Dear Coquette:

Dear Coquette,

Is cheating on your partner wrong in every circumstance? How about cheating and not telling?

There’s quite a bit of room to define the scope of infidelity within the context of a given relationship, but cheating is wrong. Cheating is always wrong. That’s why it’s called cheating.

If you’re capable of asking this question with a straight face, then your problem is that you don’t feel guilt if you do something wrong. You only feel shame if you get caught doing wrong.

That’s evidence of a nasty little streak of narcissism, and it’s a serious character flaw.

On Being Who You Are

Our Intended Path

The mind's ability to fool itself knows almost no boundaries, but eventually the lucky among us come to our senses.  The smoke fades and we see things for how they really are.
Whether by words of wisdom or the flicker of a flashlight, we muddle through the fog and land on the long and winding road we're meant to travel.  However baffling, we learn to trust the path or at least stay on it.  And having no earthly clue where it's heading means we'll never be lost.
At least not for long.

On the Dalai Lama

It's late and I can't sleep.  Thoughts of recent weeks keep running around my head threatening to make it explode and all I can do to calm myself is read the teachings of His Holiness the Dalai Lama XIV.  Some of the things I'm reading are longer articles or treatises if you will, while others are the quotes that are so often recited and their wonder exists in their pure simplicity.   Of the ones that I've been reading tonight, some of my favorites are:


“Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.”

"There is a saying in Tibetan, 'Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.'
No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that's our real disaster.”

“When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways--either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.”

“Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek.”

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."

Simple, I know.  But sometimes it is the simple teachings, sayings, or pieces of advice that allow us to make the tiny course corrections that can lead to greater changes in our lives. 

Wonder

 
What is unleashed in the soul when we love outside ourselves is sharp, unexpected, and beyond words.
Love turns smart people stupid and conjures courage from thin air.
That we can love so wildly, so recklessly, yet feel it in the tame ways of everyday is something of a miracle.
For some, a miracle, ordinary or otherwise, would take a miracle. 
Still there's room for repentance.  There's hope, if only in glimmers.
For others, hope is all there is.
But I find that as life pushes relentlessly on, words like love, hope, and miracle nudge their way in and set up shop.  As undeniable as moon tides.
The pie-in-the-sky magical thinking of childhood is quietly replaced by a grounded, grown-up sense of wonder. 
And the reality that something as simple as a sunrise can still surprise you.

Trust

Trust [truhst] noun

1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

2. confident expectation of something; hope.

3. a person on whom or thing on which one relies.

4. the condition of one to whom something has been entrusted.

Love [luhv] noun, verb; loved, lov·ing.

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3. sexual passion or desire.

4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

After all is said and done, they are two words with different definitions.  However, one cannot exist with the other.  

Catharsis

Catharsis

ca-thar-sis [kuh-thar-sis]

noun, plural -ses
 

-the purging of the emotions or relieving of emotional tensions.

And this is how we do it in Texas: