Weekend, Part II. Summer Sun.

I think I did a fairly good job of moving on and having a good time this weekend after running into Kevin. I spent Saturday out in Lakeway at this FAB-ulous house overlooking the lake. This guy (I haven't come up with a moniker for him yet) invited me out to his friend's house to enjoy the summer sun, a nice pool, and a good BBQ.

It was good times. The house was gorgeous. The pool was nice and cool. And the guys were funny and hilarious. It was interesting. I spent the day trying to be cute, charming, and funny. I think I pulled it off. It was a little challenging at times, though, cuz this guy's friends kept asking me all sorts of questions. I know they were just doing the "friend inspection," but it's been a while since I've felt so under the microscope.

At one point while I was reapplying my sunscreen, I got asked if I was datable. "Huh???" was my reply. I don't remember exactly how he phrased his follow-up question, but he basically wanted to see if I was emotionally available for a relationship. I didn't know how to respond. I still don't. Eh.... schmee.

When I got home, I was drained. I love hanging out by water during the summer, but it always takes so much out of me.

I'm slowly but surely getting some color to my "sensitive alabaster skin." Hopefully it'll be enough by the time I head out to the desert at the end of August.

Weekend, Part I. I thought I was ready.

I'll admit that I've thought about it. I mean, it was bound to happen eventually. He did live here his entire life before moving away, and he still has a lot of friends here. Not to mention family. I thought I was ready for it. I was wrong.

I ran into Kevin over the weekend.

It happened so quickly. I was walking out of a bar with some friends. As I rounded the corner, there he was, coming in. We made eye contact. I turned my head and continued walking out. Suddenly it all came rushing back. The anger. The confusion. The love.

My friends immediately saw the change in my behavior. We got to another bar, and shots were ordered. Ahhh... the wonders of dulling the senses with alcohol. I get a text. At first I thought it was another friend of mine that I was supposed to be meeting out. It wasn't. It was him.

It was a short and simple message. "yeah... but i hope you're well." My first thought? "What the fuck does 'I don't ever want to talk to you again.' mean to you, fuckhead?!?!?!"

It's odd how things that happen in just a matter of seconds can affect you for such a long time after. The rest of my weekend was under a haze from this. I thought I would be a bit more blase about this. Er... I wanted to be. In the end, I still feel for him.

What a strange weekend

My weekend was rather... er... interesting. And of course, it's all centered around a boy.

I went out on Thursday night to meet my friend that's moving away. I picked him up after my workout, and we went to our usual haunts. Shortly after arriving, this guy walks up to my friend, and they start chatting. I get introduced, and this guy is rather cute, but I immediately think he's this little pretty boy. As is our usual, my friend begins to wander around, coming back to chat every now and then. This leaves me alone with pretty boy. (Hrmmm... I don't like the moniker pretty boy, so let's just call him LA boy, cuz he's from LA).

So we chat, and he's a funny guy, really personable, and a player. Totally a player. And he tries to start playing me, trying to get at my goods. I decide to have some fun.

I turn into a tease. Talking about how I'm a yoga teacher, about my nice, big, firm, round ass, etc. He starts to get a little... uh... excited. Noticeably. I immediately switch topics to the game on the big screen tv. I do things like this all night long. I figured he get tired of trying to work me over, but he sticks by my side all night long.

Now since this is a school night, I make it an early night (unlike Tuesday). I finish my drink, and start to say my goodbyes. LA boy then asks me out for dinner on Saturday night.

wha... Wha.... What?!?!

He must have seen the shock on my face, because he looks me square in the eye and says, "I'm asking you out as the real me. Not vacation me."

Sounds like a player line to me, but I say sure. I've had a good time hanging out with him thus far, so why not. Also, he does have this sweet streak that I was able to see on a couple of occasions.

Saturday comes around, and we make plans to meet up downtown for dinner (he's staying with friends a little outside of town). Now I must say that I do expect to sleep with him after everything is all said and done. While I see him as a sort of player, it doesn't mean that he's not totally cute and TOTALLY fuckable. In fact, I refer to this date to my friends as a "prelude to a fuck." In all honesty, I don't really expect anything else.

We meet up and head to this new Italian restaurant downtown. We're seated at a cozy little table outside, and commence to have a great dinner. Conversation flows easily. We laugh, we share. It's actually very nice. He orders creme brulee for dessert. He lets me break the sugar-shell first. This is a big thing for me.... I HAVE to be the first to break into it. It's like I'm breaking into a safe to get at all the sweet, delicious goodness.

We then head to meet up with some friends of his for drinks. These friends are the reason he's in town, as they're here visiting family, and he's here to see them. They're great. We have a wonderful time laughing, joking, regaling each other with stories. And LA boy and I just sort of click. We may not be talking to eachother, but we're connected in some way. It's slightly silly as I think about it, but it was really nice. At times, we would hold hands, pinky style (you lazily hook your pinky fingers together), or he might hook a couple of fingers in my back pocket, or vice versa. Additionally, his friends make comments to me that make me wonder what he's told them about me. Comments like "he's a really sweet guy," "he's a great person, he'll treat you right," and "he's a little cautious, as he's been hurt before, but once you get inside, he'll stick by you."

At some point, we decide that it's time to head out and take care of business. During the evening, I learned that he as an 8am flight back home, and as such, we head back to his friend's house so he could grab his stuff in the morning (He had asked them if it was ok to take me back there, and they agreed. They apparently thought I was charming and were happy to host our carnal liaison). I'll spare the details, except to say "wow."

The alarm goes off at 6:30am. We take care of business again. We shower. He gets all his things together so I can drive him to the airport. It's a sleepy drive over to ABIA, and he's resting his head against my shoulder. He murmers that he had a great time hanging out with me. I agree. He laments that we live in different cities.

WTF?!?!?!?!

I concur, saying that he's a really cool guy. Secretly I'm wondering if this is part of his player act. Or maybe I got him all wrong from the beginning.

He states that he wants me to come and visit him in LA. "Oh, you say that to all the boys," I reply. Which is true. He told me the night before that he tends to simply tell people that they should come and visit.

He sits up and looks at me. *Shock* "But I mean this. This is the true me asking you. I want you to come visit me," he says. I say I will. He puts his head back on my shoulder and we have a lazy conversation the rest of the way to the airport.

I drop him off, we have a cute little kissy-kissy good-bye, and I drive away. We exchange a few text messages while I'm driving home. One of his:

"I had a great time with you. It sucks that you live in Austin. Come see me soon... and yes, I mean that."

Is that the end? No.

He calls me when he gets home. In one of his first sentences, he inquires if I've booked my flight yet. I haven't.

He calls me after he gets off work last night. We chat for a long time. In the conversation, I say something without revealing the full truth (it's nothing major... just one of those geeky little secret loves that we all have. A tv show you don't want others to know you watch, a song you secretly dance to, etc.) He calls me on it. He says "I can always tell when there's something more you're not saying." I think about that for a bit, and it's true. It's all been innocuous stuff, just like this. A stupid little secret, a dorky past-time you're afraid to reveal too early. But for whatever reason I'm hesitant to reveal some of those little details. I beg off for bed, we say our goodbyes, and he tells me to call him "whenever." I can hear the attempt at casualnes in his voice.

I'm pensive. Am I being too cynical? Am I letting myself be confused by the ultimate player? I expected nothing from this, and now I'm unsure.

Don't get me wrong. I have no delusions about the prospects of someone who lives half-way across the country. He's just got me thinking.

Expectations

This weekend didn't quite go as planned. The cause for the derailment of the planned activities can be attributed to:

a) the immaturity of Person A.

b) the whore-ocity of Person B.

c) the lack of communication between Persons A and B about certain expectations.

I shall explain.

Most of you are aware that over the past couple of weeks I had started to get a little serious about a new guy. After a couple of rebound things that never really seemed to truly excite or interest me, hanging around with a couple other people over the past couple of months, and doing some general kind of just looking around, this really cute, sweet guy came into focus. There was only one challenge. He doesn't live in Austin. He lives in San Antonio.

Well, SA is close enough to visit frequently, while being far enough away for me to enjoy some space at the front end of whatever it is that we were trying to do. The past several weeks have been filled with him coming up into Austin for the weekend, us meeting half-way between cities for dinners, and so forth. It's been a fun time getting to know this guy, seeing how we click, and figuring out how things might work out.

Fast-forward to this past Saturday night. New-boy and I, along with my good friend Kevin, were out and about on the town, drinking and generally having a good time. As the night grew later, talks of going home vs after hours began. Kevin, through a series of interesting events, ended up heading back to my place and staying there.

New-boy (NB) and I ended up deciding to go to a after hours party with various people. The way it worked out, he ended up riding with someone else while I dealt with Kevin's "interesting events," after which I met up with NB at the first destination. Once I got there, he confronted me with some news he had just heard.

Basically, some guy I had messed around with a few weeks ago told NB about it. So, NB asked me for confirmation. I confirmed the story, as I don't really have any secrets in my sex life. He was not pleased.

"Why would you do that? Are you a sex addict?"

WTF!?!?!?!?

"Uh..." I hear myself begin. "No. I'm not. I'm a guy. And why did I do it? Cuz I wanted to?"

He stormed away. I had to basically run after him in order to get him to talk to me.

The conversation basically boils down to a couple of talking points.

1) I obviously can't keep my dick in my pants.
2) He never thought about messing around with anyone else once he met me.
3) I apparently didn't reach that conclusion at the same pace that he did.
4) I wasn't completely truthful in detailing what was happening with me when we started seeing eachother.
5) I was seeing/hanging around with a couple of guys when I met NB. All of which have disappeared as NB came to the foreground.
6) Because of #4, I can't be trusted. Ever.
7) Because NB's ex-bf cheated on him, this makes what I did so much worse.
8) I didn't know #7 until about a week ago.
9) Expectations of exclusivity weren't discussed. In fact, I stated early on (actually about the time the incident in question happened) that any type of statement relating to expectations of the other was a bit premature, considering that we had just met.

We finished our time at the after hours party. He seemed to talk to a bunch of people, and when I would come by, it would be obvious that I should go elsewhere. Subtle.

Finally, I said it was time to go home. I didn't know if he wanted to ride with me, but he needed to get back to my house somehow. He rode with me. The ride back home was very quiet. He stated that he didn't understand why I did what I did. I stated that different people date in different ways. I didn't reach the point where I was sure about what I thought could come of him and I as quickly as he did. He still didn't understand. Finally I said that I didn't know how to help him understand.

When we got home, I took a shower, and was getting ready for either bed or a lengthy conversation. I wasn't sure which was coming. He packed up his things while I was in the shower, and once I got out, he left for a friend's place. He stated that he was confused, and didn't know what to do. I said that I can understand where he was coming from, but that we obviously didn't operate on the same premises during the beginning of things.

He left saying that he'd call me later.

I haven't heard from him in two days.

Today he "unfriended" me on myspace.

I guess that's that.

So which is it? (a), (b), or (c)?

I choose (c), with a tiny bit of (a) in there. I mean, I share in the blame due to the fact that apparently he didn't know that I was hanging around with a couple of other people at the beginning of our whatever. Also, I didn't realize that he was so interested in an "insta-relationship." However, to have certain expectations of someone without discussing them with that person, and then being upset that they weren't adhered to is unreasonable. And a little immature.