An Unexamined Life

Socrates stated so many year ago that "an unexamined life is not worth living."

I fully and completely agree with this.  For how can one even attempt to integrate one's life into the life of another if one has no clear idea of who you are.  To even attempt such a fete is immoral, inconscionable, and just wrong.

Are We All Just Fooling Ourselves?

 

"The quality of everything we do: our physical actions, our verbal actions, and even our mental actions, depends on our motivation." - His Holiness the Dalai Lama XIV

The actions we take when we interact with others... The things we say to one another, both verbal and non-verbal... And yes, even the mental thoughts we have but don't say or act upon when dealing with others...  It all depends on our point of view, the orientation we choose when we look at this thing called life, and how we are motivated to implement that point of view and orientation.  We can choose the positive, compassionate, and loving path - what some might call the implementation of good karma - or we can find ourselves on a negative, perhaps self-destructive and hopeless path - what is often referred to as bad karma.  It is all about the choices we make in those all-important moments of truth.  Do we hide away and introduce lies and deceit into the world, into our relationships, and into our lives?  Or do we make the tough decisions and dig deep into ourselves to be honest, forthcoming, and respectful to the universe, to those around us, and to ourselves?

Karma is simply defined in the Yoga Sutras as action.  It states that these actions can be good or bad, based on what some might call universal morality.  And it is these actions, when repeated over and over again, that define the path upon which we find ourselves.  The challenge is that the mind is easily fooled into thinking we are on a particular path when in reality we are not.  For often we don't want to admit, even to ourselves, even in our most honest moments of introspection, that our actions... our thoughts... our motivation are less than moral.  Are less than ethical.  Are less than honest and truthful.

But sometimes, be it by the actions of another that can jolt your world view of the honesty and trustworthiness of others, or the simple statements of a good friend that recognizes the hurt residing within you, you can recognize that the path you thought you were traveling, be it by yourself or with your beloved, was nothing more than a fantasy.  And you realize the discordance of your own honest and respectful actions with the negative and dishonest actions of your traveling companion and this makes you recognize that you can only find the answers... the truth... the love... within yourself.  For at the end of the day, we are all alone on a planet of billions.

Letting Go

Nobody likes letting go.  From our earliest moments, our instinct is to grab, grip, cling, or hold on to anything we can.  To a finger.  To a blanket.  To a toy.  To a best friend.  To a love that has obviously already let you go by their actions.  Or their inactions.  Sometimes we hold on for dear life to the very things that inhibit us from actually living life.

But there is an upside.  The feeling we get when we do finally let go.  The trick is not to find a way around the obstacles and challenges thrown at us by life, but to live with them.  Live through them.  Learn from them.  In a halfway happy, uneasy alliance until the universe throws something new our way.  And around and around we go until the time comes finally to say goodbye.  And like it or not, ready or not, we all have to accept one universal truth - life is messy. M Always and for all of us.

But... maybe messy is what one needs.

Fairy Tales

Sometimes in a thousand tiny surrenders, or in one giant fell swoop, what you'd seen as truly mythical... you learn is truly just myth.

Ever After

"Happily Ever After" is a crock.  It's a sham.  It's a shell game on the street for every passing sucker that walks past.  They're just words.  Pretty words, but words just the same.

Our lives are determined by dumb luck, the actions we take, and the courage we summon during those all-important moments of truth.  Real life doesn't come with "The End."  Our stories never end as "Happily Ever After," is really only the beginning.  There are a million ever afters in everyone's lives.  For just when you think you've reached the finish line and found a nice little place to call home and someone with whom to curl up, the gun goes off again.

And the race begins anew.

So True

From Dear Coquette:

Dear Coquette,

Is cheating on your partner wrong in every circumstance? How about cheating and not telling?

There’s quite a bit of room to define the scope of infidelity within the context of a given relationship, but cheating is wrong. Cheating is always wrong. That’s why it’s called cheating.

If you’re capable of asking this question with a straight face, then your problem is that you don’t feel guilt if you do something wrong. You only feel shame if you get caught doing wrong.

That’s evidence of a nasty little streak of narcissism, and it’s a serious character flaw.

On Being Who You Are

Mantra

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.

Our Intended Path

The mind's ability to fool itself knows almost no boundaries, but eventually the lucky among us come to our senses.  The smoke fades and we see things for how they really are.
Whether by words of wisdom or the flicker of a flashlight, we muddle through the fog and land on the long and winding road we're meant to travel.  However baffling, we learn to trust the path or at least stay on it.  And having no earthly clue where it's heading means we'll never be lost.
At least not for long.

On the Dalai Lama

It's late and I can't sleep.  Thoughts of recent weeks keep running around my head threatening to make it explode and all I can do to calm myself is read the teachings of His Holiness the Dalai Lama XIV.  Some of the things I'm reading are longer articles or treatises if you will, while others are the quotes that are so often recited and their wonder exists in their pure simplicity.   Of the ones that I've been reading tonight, some of my favorites are:


“Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.”

"There is a saying in Tibetan, 'Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.'
No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that's our real disaster.”

“When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways--either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.”

“Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek.”

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."

Simple, I know.  But sometimes it is the simple teachings, sayings, or pieces of advice that allow us to make the tiny course corrections that can lead to greater changes in our lives.