It's so... SHINY!!

I'm not sure, but I think it's been since elementary school since I've seen a display like this. It was pretty common back in those days seeing as it was a new activity for little boys. They weren't quite sure how it all worked. How to stand. What to hold on to.

But for a man easily in his 50s? He should know by then.

I was leaving the locker room after spinning class tonight, and there he was. Early 50s. Grey... I mean Silver hair. Workout shorts AND jockstrap around his knees. Hands on his hips. Pissing in the urinal. Big, flabby ass hanging out for all the world to see.

Really?!? Around your knees?

Big. Gaping. Hole.

I could never be in the medical profession. Nevermind all the biology courses and pharmocology courses. Nevermind all the years spent in school combined with even more years training in hospitals and clinics. I just can't handle wounds and blood.

I had minor surgery yesterday. No big deal, just the removal of a cyst. But this now means that I have another hole in my body, albeit temporarily. And I have to change the dressing. And put ointment on the wound. And... deal with... um... all the stuff that goes with having a gaping hole in your body.

I had such a hard time cleaning the wound this morning. Where's my nurse? When do I get my sponge bath?

Hallelujah!!

Praise be to the gods! Sing honors to Shiva! Give atonements to His Holiness the Pope (I just want his shoes)!!

Last night, was glorious. The satisfaction. The overwhelming joyousness. The excitement with which I can shout from the rooftops!!

I slept until 8:15am this morning. ...and I was able to stay up till almost 11:30pm. On a Saturday night, I know. I'm such a rebel. Such a wild, party-going carouser. Really, I need to be stopped before I hurt myself and others.

Sleep... I want sleep!!

Jet lag has never really affected me that much. Normally when I return from abroad, it only takes me a day or so to get back to a normal sleeping schedule. Not so much this time.

So far this week, since my return, I've arisen at 4am, 5:40am, 6am, and today - 6:30am. Slowly getting better, but due to my early rising, it's been so challenging to stay up late. And by late I mean past 9pm. The past two nights I've fallen asleep on the couch while trying to stay up to a decent hour.

I'm hoping tonight will allow me to get back to a more normal sleep schedule. I'm heading out with Kelicious and Aussie Boy to celebrate my birthday, since I was on the other side of the world when it came around.

Oh yeah, don't think y'all are getting away without wishing me a happy birthday and showering me with gifts and affections. My Week of Celebrations is still forthcoming.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

It's 10am in Tokyo, Japan. I'm about half-way through my 38 hour return journey. Yes, the journey over to Thailand to meet up with Brit Boy only took about 30 hours all told, but the return journey has been a bit more... um... complicated.

It started around 10am, Sunday, May 4, on the tiny island of Koh Tao, Thailand. South in the Gulf of Thailand. See, it was supposed to be relatively simple, albeit a bit tight on the timing.

10am boat from Koh Tao to the city of Chumphon, where we were to catch the train to Bangkok for me to catch my outgoing flight.

Easy, right? Hrmph!!!

Oh, did I mention that this was Labor Day Weekend in Thailand? Where loads of people, much like in the US, go off traveling for a long weekend? Yeah... that muddied things up a bit.

Well, that and the fact that there are a number of travel-related monopolies that stymy your attempts to get anywhere.

You want boat to mainland? Ok. You're catching the train to Bangkok? Yes, we will provide free transport from the pier to the station. You want to get there on time to catch your train? No, that won't happen. But we'll tell you that it will. So now that you've missed your train, and there's no transport from here to anywhere but the island you came from, you can take our bus to Bangkok. Yes, we can sell you the ticket now that you've missed your train. Oh, and it'll cost more now cuz you thought you could get away with trying to use someone else's services.

In reality, the extra cost equated to about $3.20 US. No big deal. However, in a country where $3.20 US can get you a massage (with happy ending), a pack of smokes for after, and a stiff drink for when you realize you've had sex with a 13 year-old (purely conjecture here, folks...), it's a lot of money.

That and the Thai have this remarkable ability to comlpetely ignore the fact that you exist when you raise a point of contention. Or at least that's been my experience. "You have a problem with something? Ok. Now let me ignore you as a human being while I reach through you to continue servicing the people that have no problems whatsoever so I can simply say "thank you" and begone with them."

In reality, I had a great time in Thailand. Please don't let this little post let you think otherwise. It's just that while I'm sitting in Tokyo's Admirals Lounge drinking my fourth mimosa (hey... it's 8pm back in Texas), I'm letting it out. Mainly so I won't take it out on some pore unsuspecting gate agent.

More details of the trip to follow.

And I'm off!!

Well, I'm on my way. At 5:45am this morning I boarded the plane for the first leg of my 28 hour journey across the globe. Yes, all told, from start to finish, I will be on a plane or waiting in an aiport for 28 hours (at least) as I make my way to Thailand. What can I say, Brit Boy was willing to cross an ocean to come to me. It's the least I could do to return the favor.

I'm currently in the Admiral's Lounge in Chicago O'Hare. I've just been lounging without having to fight for a seat at a crowded gate. Without having to suffer children screaming and crying and running around. WIthout having to listen to people prattle on about all sorts of shit that no one really cares about.

It's rather unlikely that I'll be posting anything for the next two weeks. I mean, not only are there all the Buddhist temples to go to, shopping to be done, and SCUBA diving to enjoy... but um... I haven't seen Brit Boy in three months, so there's definitely some reacquainting we need to do. *grin*

So... hard...

I leave tomorrow morning to meet up with Brit Boy. When we meet in Bangkok, it will have been three months and one day since I last saw him. I know some things have changed - he no longer has a mohawk for one (he thought it best to cut it off when traveling through SE Asian countries that are a little less than stable. No need to draw extra attention to oneself.

Excited can not even describe the feelings I have right now. I'm bouncy, I'm smiley, I'm joyous. I'm pent up.

I started withholding from myself on Sunday. Yes, you read that right. Me, the guy that takes matters into his own hands at least twice a day has gone without since Sunday. Three days ago. I wanted to "rev up the engine" for when I get to be with my man again. However, right about now I feel like my crotch is about to burst out of my pants.

Drunky-McDunkville

Transportation Conference. Full of engineers and lawyers. And a few politicians thrown into the mix. Sounds exciting, doesn't it?

Well, I can't really say that I've actually been attending too much of the conference. Gabbing, schmoozing, drinking. That's more my style at these things. So yesterday, when I faced the prospect of a 16 hour day with my co-workers, the last 10 of which were spent drinking, I was up for it. I am, after all, a professional drunkard.

What I wasn't really up for was the 10 hours of drinking in a full suit while it was 85 percent humidity.

It was HUGE!!

I looked. I'll admit it. I mean, some people will say they don't, but there I times I do.

I look in the locker room.

Not always. I mean, most of the time, you really don't want to. And this wasn't' one of the times Iwanted to look. This was a time I needed to look. It just *called* to me.

I was standing in the locker room, getting ready for my workout, and the guy next to me had just gotten out of the shower. When he removed his towel to do... god only knows... that's when it caught my eye. Literally, out of the corner of my eye I saw it. And it drew my gaze in.

Now, I had to be all natural and nonchallant, but it drew my gaze nonetheless. It was huge! All big, black, and bushy. I swear it sprouted out at least 4 inches from his body. It covered all hints of a penis completely.

My question: How the hell do you even function when your pubic hair completely hides the fact that you have a penis. Wait! Maybe he didn't have a penis and he was trying to hide that.

Nah... he was just a lazy slob that didn't take his partner's dislike of hair in his/her mouth when going downtown. I mean, really!! There's a certain amount of respect in just doing a little bit of maintenance down there!

I think this calls for a celebration

Seventeen days. One. Seven. Yes... seventeen days until the anniversary of my birth.

Shocked? Amazed that you could have possibly let this wonderful event almost slip by? It's ok. I'm here to remind you.

Unfortunately for y'all, I'll be in Thailand during my normal "week of celebration." However, I'm thinking of holding a fabulous weekend of celebrations once I return at which point you all can shower me with well-wishes and gifts.